Trigger Warning: Discussion of rape.
I’m no longer selling the Dickwolves Survivors Guild t-shirts. A couple of other people who identify as rape survivors have asked me in the comments of that post to take it down, and I’m listening to them. Back in October, 2010, when I put these up for sale, I heard indirectly that someone I knew didn’t like the shirts because they found them triggering for the same reasons as the Penny Arcade Dickwolves merchandise. I told myself that I was protesting something and that negotiating the line of “allowable” rape survivor self-expression wasn’t something I was interested in being policed about. That felt like enough reason to keep the shirts up while feeling really conflicted about the whole thing.
Now that Penny Arcade is no longer selling Dickwolves merchandise, that logic doesn’t hold up enough for me. My point with the shirts was to try and say, “if you’re going to sell triggering merchandise, for fuck’s sake could you at least not advertise rapists?” Now that Penny Arcade isn’t selling that particular triggering merchandise anymore, it feels unnecessary to me to continue having my response t-shirts up. If you were planning to buy a shirt, please consider donating to the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center or another survivor charity.
Also, it’s shitty to have rape survivors yell at you. Not in a, “shut up, bitches,” way, but in a more general physical feeling of nausea at the idea of having triggered other survivors. I’ve been triggered recently (today, actually) and for me anyway, it really isn’t something that gets easier to cope with, whether it’s been years or hours since the last time it happened. I don’t want that for anyone, and I’m sorry I caused it.